Schadenfreude's topics - tribe.net

HA!

2006-04-05T19:48:38Z

A comic strip in three panels:

(Panel 1) Assclown cuts across four lanes of traffic to ride my tail as we approach the bay bridge

(Panel 2) Assclown decides he can't stand the pace of traffic, and cuts into the carpool/bus lane that avoids the toll plaza

(Panel 3) Assclown is parked on the shoulder with a CHP motorcycle on his tail

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Teen dies after being cut by falling sword

2006-03-08T22:31:26Z

In a rare twist on the old "Falling on your sword" trick or less leathal and much funnier "breaking a cheap sword on a table top and flinging the pointy bit into your man-boob" trick. Some poor teen whose parents let him have a sword sharp enough that it will slice flesh merely by falling is an early winner of the 2006 Darwin.

http://www.gainesville.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060308/LOCAL/203080328/1078/news

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Boy George A Very Social Person

2005-10-16T21:43:58Z

When I call the cops about a break-in, I usually don't answer the door with, "What's up?".

Unlikely, but should you not know what's up, just Google, "boy george". Then add, "coke", and possibly, "13 bags", if you're still in the dark...

posted in Schadenfreude - 2 replies

"Quest For Fire"

2005-10-07T03:10:57Z

For a more pre-historic form of schadenfreude check out the Ulam in the film, "Quest for Fire".

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Distracted SUV driver goes into the drink

2005-09-26T23:14:47Z

Get a load of this one:

http://www.koin.com/news.asp?RECORD_KEY[news]=ID&ID[news]=1832

"A woman talking on her cell phone lost control of her car and crashed into the guardrail of a downtown Portland bridge, then plummeted into the Willamette River below."

A few lacerations and some hypothermia, apparently. Based on averages, I'm guessing she's learned nothing from the experience, and will continue to gab behind the wheel of a behemoth vehicle.

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

Nat. Enquirer picking on the preznit?

2005-09-25T04:54:03Z

Wow, it's come to this:

BUSH'S BOOZE CRISIS

By JENNIFER LUCE and DON GENTILE

Faced with the biggest crisis of his political life, President Bush has hit the bottle again, The National Enquirer can reveal.

Bush, who said he quit drinking the morning after his 40th birthday, has started boozing amid the Katrina catastrophe.

Family sources have told how the 59-year-old president was caught by First Lady Laura downing a shot of booze at their family ranch in Crawford, Texas, when he learned of the hurricane disaster.

His worried wife yelled at him: "Stop, George."

cont'd...

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/63426

posted in Schadenfreude - 8 replies

Shocking...

2005-09-22T23:48:00Z

Power-dressing man leaves trail of destruction

Fri Sep 16,10:30 AM ET

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man built up a
40,000-volt charge of static electricity in his
clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched
carpet and molten plastic and forcing firefighters to
evacuate a building.
ADVERTISEMENT

Frank Clewer, who was wearing a woolen shirt and a
synthetic nylon jacket, was oblivious to the growing
electrical current that was building up as his clothes
rubbed together.

When he walked into a building in the country town of
Warrnambool in the southern state of Victoria
Thursday, the electrical charge ignited the carpet.

"It sounded almost like a firecracker," Clewer told
Australian radio Friday.

"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to
erupt."

Employees, unsure of the cause of the mysterious
burning smell, telephoned firefighters who evacuated
the building.

"There were several scorch marks in the carpet, and we
could hear a cracking noise -- a bit like a whip --
both inside and outside the building," said fire
official Henry Barton.

Firefighters cut electricity to the building thinking
the burns might have been caused by a power surge.

Clewer, who after leaving the building discovered he
had scorched a piece of plastic on the floor of his
car, returned to seek help from the firefighters.

"We tested his clothes with a static electricity field
meter and measured a current of 40,000 volts, which is
one step shy of spontaneous combustion, where his
clothes would have self-ignited," Barton said.

"I've been firefighting for over 35 years and I've
never come across anything like this," he said.

Firefighters took possession of Clewer's jacket and
stored it in the courtyard of the fire station, where
it continued to give off a strong electrical current.

David Gosden, a senior lecturer in electrical
engineering at Sydney University, told Reuters that
for a static electricity charge to ignite a carpet,
conditions had to be perfect.

"Static electricity is a similar mechanism to
lightning, where you have clouds rubbing together and
then a spark generated by very dry air above them,"
said Gosden.

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

Plagiarist gets her comeuppance - instantly!

2005-05-04T02:42:06Z

http://www.aweekofkindness.com/blog/archives/2005/03/laura_k_pahl_is.html

Ouch! I'll be following this story to see if there are any serious consequences for this young woman.

posted in Schadenfreude - 2 replies

happy happy joy joy

2005-04-18T10:10:47Z

http://courttv.com/people/scm/102104_ctv.html

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Ice Cream

2005-04-05T18:17:33Z

Last week, while walking back from the ice cream parlor with my friend and her infant (who was strapped to my friend's chest), my friend accidentally dropped her scoop of banana nut ice cream right on her child's head. Her daughter woke for a second and then went back to sleep. Unfortunately, mom didn't join me in laughing at her own misfortune. This makes me wonder - would it still be considered schadenfreunde if she had?

posted in Schadenfreude - 3 replies

NCAA North Carolina victory over Illinois

2005-04-05T03:47:46Z

* Disclaimer: I really don't care much about sports, nor did I watch the game, but...

I'm so happy Illinois lost to North Carolina!!!

Number of Illinois shirts in Anna's closet: 0
Number of North Carolina shirts in Anna's closet: 1
Winner: North Carolina

Rejection letters from Illinois: 1
Rejection letters from North Carolina: 0
Loser: Illinois

We have a clear-cut schadenfreude case here, folks.

My only regret is that I can't wear my NC shirt tomorrow because I might be killed. (I go to a university 45 minutes away from U of I)

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Fabio

2005-03-28T22:26:10Z

WTH is up with Fabio's face in that picture that's ben posted to the album?

posted in Schadenfreude - 4 replies

Gun safety instructor shoots himself in the foot

2005-03-28T18:23:59Z

Not sure how old this is, but it's been far too long since I've seen a post here.

http://gorillamask.net/guninstructor.shtml

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

This is awesome on so many levels

2005-03-03T18:02:49Z

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/02/17/suvfire17.TMP

Guy throws cigarette butt out the window of his $30,000 SUV. It blows back in, and burned to the frame.

posted in Schadenfreude - 5 replies

Thomas Midgely Jr

2005-02-22T21:29:20Z

Currently reading Bill Bryson's "Short History of Nearly Everything". There's one ending that made me eject wine through my nostrils it was so funny.

Midgely was the guy who invented Tetraethyl Lead, responsible for much of the lead now in our atmosphere (before invention the levels were pretty non existent) as he promoted for as many applications as possible, whilst knowing the effects.
He also invented CFC's.

I'll quote now from the book:
"His [Midgely's] death was memorably unusual. After becoming crippled with polio, Midgely invented a contraption involving a series of motorized pulleys that autmatically raised or turned him in bed. In 1944, he became entangled in the cords as the machine went into action and was strangled.

Love it!
Love it!!
Love it!!!

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

Botulism from Botox

2004-12-01T20:05:53Z

I do find this all rather amusing...and so fittign that it happened in Florida

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-rxbotox30nov30,0,440767.story?coll=sfla-home-headlines

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

Ashlee Simpson lip-sync snafu on SNL

2004-11-03T01:09:17Z

http://www.salon.com/ent/feature/2004/10/24/ashlee/

posted in Schadenfreude - 9 replies

o'reilly sexual harassment suit filing

2004-10-29T18:02:18Z

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris1.html

posted in Schadenfreude - 5 replies

Jon Steward rips "Crossfire" a new one.

2004-10-20T16:19:48Z

Delightful!

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0410/15/cf.01.html

I wish I'd seen this, but it reads extremely well. Rather than appear and do the little dance required of political "debate" shows, Jon Stewart refused to play along:

CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?

STEWART: Absolutely.

CARLSON: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on and you...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: What is wrong with you?

(APPLAUSE) CARLSON: Well, I'm just saying, there's no reason for you -- when you have this marvelous opportunity not to be the guy's butt boy, to go ahead and be his butt boy. Come on. It's embarrassing.

STEWART: I was absolutely his butt boy. I was so far -- you would not believe what he ate two weeks ago.

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

STEWART: You need to go to one.

The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk...

CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

posted in Schadenfreude - 3 replies

Ken Lay Indicted, Led Away in Cuffs

2004-10-13T19:22:44Z

Oh Yeah!

posted in Schadenfreude - 4 replies

Fabio on the rollercoaster

2004-10-08T21:29:42Z

Does anybody remember that? When he got hit in the face by a huge gull and was all bloodied? Was that the money shot of all Schadenfreude or what?

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

YAAAYYY HE'S FINALLY DEAD

2004-10-08T03:44:20Z

Following Stolen from elsewhere; but truer words have never been spoke:

Dead President:
This is not going to be one of the many "let’s-be-kind-to-the-dead-Alzheimer’s-ridden-wrinkled-guy" panegyrics the "liberal" media has been trotting out for the last day and a half. This is not an attempt to find a silver lining in the ruination, the waste lain by the presidency of Reagan. We will not be saying that "Reagan loved dogs." No, this is nothing like that. This is going to be a "rip that saggy-necked cocksucker out of his coffin and skullfuck him until his eyes roll out into the street" kind of thing.

Ronald Reagan was the worst kind of evil, the kind that wears the mask of goodness and morality. He was like the affable grandfather who loved molesting his grandkids. Oh, how Grandpa smiled when he fondled us. Damn, how we didn't mind the finger-fuckings, how we didn’t care how many psychic scars Grandpa left us with as long as Grandpa smiled at us, said he loved us, and gave us candy to keep us quiet. But, Jesus Christ, how we must live with those barely repressed wounds, the damage that afflicts every step we take.

This country, this world will never get over the destruction wrought by this man. Practically every awful thing going on in this country can be traced, in one way or another, to Reagan. Soldiers are dying in Iraq right now because of this man, because of his insane support for dictators, for turning a blind eye to genocide and madness. A decade behind in AIDS research? The power of the religious right in making public policy? The war on feminism? We're just scratchin' the surface of the repeated rapings of this country by Reagan's re-defining conservatism to the right, which dragged the rest of the nation, the rest of the political spectrum with it. He made liberal a dirty word. He opened the regulatory books for industries to rewrite them in their image. He presided over the other greatest intelligence failure, when we "missed" the imminent collapse of the Soviet Union. And we're not even talkin' yet about Iran-Contra, the second part of the Republican trifecta of massive abuse of power (Watergate being first, and the Iraq war being third). Reagan was a goddamned cancer, but he could sell it, like an old time preacher, with a twinkle in his eye and a promise of greater days tomorrow; he was like a suave Greek pimp who will sell you a syphilitic Turkish whore - sure, you'll get your rocks off, but, oh, how you'll pay, motherfucker, oh, how you'll pay.

Let’s focus in on one thing: poverty. Reagan shifted the conversation on poverty, as he did with so many things, away from economics and the vicissitudes of capitalism and towards a 19th century notion of morality. The poor were, in Reagan’s view, more easily tempted into immorality. They were "welfare queens" who exploited the good-heartedness of the government and the populace in general. Indeed, the whole debate about welfare never escaped from Reagan's enormous racist lie of the welfare queen because it was a story that comforted so many middle class white people, allowed them to abandon any pretense of wanting to correct past wrongs.

Let's narrow even further, to one bill. In his first budget, the Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1981, Reagan stripped away the ability of the working poor to transition off welfare, taking 100% of their income out of their welfare payments. Previously, the standard had been the 30 and a third rule – subtract the first $30 and 1/3 of income in order to wean the working poor off the government teat. The OBRA cut food stamps, Medicaid, and child care. It reduced or eliminated spending on prenatal, maternal, and child health care, school lunch programs, and day care, as well as eliminating Aid to Families with Dependent Children for some families. Sixty percent of cuts in federal entitlements were on programs to poor: AFDC was cut by $1 billion, Medicaid by $500 million, and food stamps by $700 million, erasing 875,000 people from the food stamp program. Because of these cuts, a working poor family of three had less income than one who stayed on AFDC. Much of this was directed at women, where Reagan sought to roll back the feminist movement through governmental tough love. "There you go, bitches, wallow in the filth of my philosophy," he was saying.

Here’s the evil part: this was done to offset huge tax cuts. Here’s the extra evil part: the tough love didn’t work. More people ended up on welfare (not cruelly disappeared from the welfare rolls as under Clinton’s welfare "reform"). The cuts for fiscal 1982, which totaled $35.2 billion, also affected disability benefits, subsidized housing, unemployment insurance, student loans, Pell grants, impacted areas aid, medical education, sewer grants, postal subsidies, trade adjustment assistance, small business loans, mass transit systems, highway funds, and more. Much of the spending was shifted to the states, as if that was somehow a greater good. The end result was to put a stake in the heart of the War on Poverty, effectively negating the role of the poor in national politics, who couldn't mobilize if they had to work two or three jobs in order to put food on the table, shifting so much of the social concerns of the government to the middle class. Welfare rolls grew while unemployment fell. And the seeds of the distance between rich and poor were sowed, and their vines bear fruit each year after.

Remember: this is one bill. One action. At the beginning of his presidency. With nearly eight years to go. Eight years where he smiled at us, regaling us with "common people" stories that comforted us amid the inferno.

Did he know what he was doing? Was Reagan a puppet? Of course he was, and by the end of his presidency, when he had descended into Woodrow Wilson-like levels of uselessness, he was merely a wax dummy. But if one surrounds oneself with cruel and evil people, if one listens to their counsel and signs off on their ideology, then, puppet or not, one is part and parcel of the evil that they do. He dumbed down the Presidency by making his ignorance into an asset; without him, there would be no George W. Bush for we could not begin to think that so slouching a human would be the person we say represents us all. Reagan made us think that this is what the presidency is: a summation of men (and women) and their ideology, not a man unto himself.

The final fuckin' joke is that because Reagan got to disappear into the clouds of his diseased brain, functioning only as a conveyer between tubes that fed him and tubes that removed his piss (with the shit-ridden diaper thrown in for good effect), he never had to see what he had done. He never got to look down from that shining city on a hill, the bullshit chimera of a nation that would never exist, and see the shards of the shattered country he left behind.

Or maybe, gasping his last, the Alzheimer's clouds parted and Reagan had a moment of clarity, a moment when he at last grasped the enormity of his blithe cruelty; maybe he understood the stunning, horrible, Christ-forsaken abandonment of the poor, the weak, the beaten down, the tossing aside of every "ideal" of uplifting the people in his maniacal pursuits of putting down the lid on the piss-stained toilet of Soviet communism and of tearing the condom off the cock of capitalism so that it infects us all with "free trade." When Lee Atwater, mentor to Karl Rove and one of the gurus of Reagan and then Bush I's campaigns, was dying of brain cancer, he had such an epiphany about the world he helped to create. He called the umitigated greed of the Reagan/Bush era a "spiritual vacuum at the heart of American society, this tumor of the soul." Would that we all get such Kurtzian moments of realizing the horror.

Reagan's dead. Fuck him. Fuck Nancy. Fuck the 1980s. Fuck all the tributes that are going on for the next week while his putrid corpse criss-crosses the nation he helped desiccate. Christ, put that fucker in a hole and let's get on with it, with the neverending work of righting the legion of wrongs he did to us all, a legacy rife with its Rumsfelds, Cheneys, and Bushes.

And when Reagan’s finally quivering in the cold, cold ground, waiting for demons to tear his soul into bite-sized pieces so he can feel thousands of hells at once, the Rude Pundit will dance, dance, dance, grotesquely, madly, on the still shifting dirt of his grave.

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

joy and shame, like sunshine and rain

2004-09-27T22:33:47Z

http://www.quartertothree.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=13825

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Carly and HP

2004-08-13T18:42:00Z

HP announces piss poor earnings, blames everyone but herself.

After the way Carly spun off the "real" HP and then trashed everyone in her way to merge with Compaq, I can't help but feel a little warmth when she has to fess up to poor execution. Then she blames the economy, about 20 minutes before Dell comes out and says the economy is great and bidness is booming.

Ride it into the ground, Carly!

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Theme song for our tribe?

2004-07-03T17:38:12Z

Someone recently let me the soundtrack to Avenue Q, the politically incorrect muppet show currently on broadway. In it is a song about Schadenfreude. For your entertainment, here are the Lyrics:

(I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to find sound samples.)

Avenue Q - Schadenfreude Lyrics
GARY COLEMAN:
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy

NICKY:
I'll say.

GARY COLEMAN:
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me...
Happy!

NICKY:
Happy?!

GARY COLEMAN:
Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It's...
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.

NICKY:
Well that's not very nice, Gary!

GARY COLEMAN:
I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!

D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?

NICKY:
Yeah...

GARY COLEMAN:
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?

NICKY:
Sure!

GARY COLEMAN:
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching people out in the rain!

NICKY:
You bet!

GARY COLEMAN:
That's...

GARY AND NICKY:
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
People taking pleasure in your pain!

NICKY:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What's that, some kinda Nazi word?

GARY COLEMAN:
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"

NICKY:
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!

Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken

GARY COLEMAN:
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!

NICKY:
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"

GARY AND NICKY:
"No!!!"
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"

NICKY:
Ooh, how about...
Straight-A students getting Bs?

GARY COLEMAN:
Exes getting STDs!

NICKY:
Waking doormen from their naps!

GARY COLEMAN:
Watching tourists reading maps!

NICKY:
Football players getting tackled!

GARY COLEMAN:
CEOs getting shackled!

NICKY:
Watching actors never reach

GARY AND NICKY:
The ending of their oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!

GARY COLEMAN:
The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate.
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us, and that makes them feel great.

NICKY:
Sure!
We provide a vital service to society!

GARY AND NICKY:
You and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
To be!

GARY COLEMAN:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Britney Spears scofflaw, hypocrite, dumbass

2004-07-03T06:56:31Z

Britney Spears Sued in $10 Million Trademark Infringement Action in Connection with Her "In The Zone" CD and Related Concert Activities

"Ms. Spears avoided numerous attempts to serve her the legal papers over the past several months. Finally, Ms. Spears agreed to accept service of the papers if Lite Breeze agreed to postpone the taking of her deposition for six months."

"Ms. Spears' unauthorized use of the trademark is in direct contradiction to her 2002 public service announcements warning people against music piracy and theft of intellectual property. In those announcements, Ms. Spears stated that downloading music from the Internet is the same as going into a CD store and stealing the CD."

http://www.emediawire.com/releases/2004/6/emw132164.htm

And while this is old news, it still makes me laugh:

A LOAD OF OLD TATT!

"The 22-year-old has had a series of Hebrew symbols etched into the back of her neck in an act of devotion to Kabbalah, the mystical form of Judaism she was introduced to by Madonna. But unfortunately for her they are absolute gibberish."

"However Britters has a history of not being tattoo careful. The Oops I Did It Again singer has been left red-faced once before when she had a Japanese word scratched on to her hip bone. It was supposed to mean "mysterious" but in fact turned out to mean "strange". Britneywas distraught when she found out the truth from best pal, actress Taryn Manning, last year."

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/tm_objectid=14205055&method=full&siteid=50143&headline=a-load-of-old-tatt--name_page.html

And now:

Britney and Federline 'etch' their love with matching tattoos!

"Britney was tattooed with a pair of pink dice on her left inner wrist and Federline got a bigger image of blue dice etched on his right forearm."
http://www.webindia123.com/news/showdetails.asp?id=39882&cat=Entertainment

Tattoo schadenfreude. The gift that gives a lifetime.

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

Bush Administration

2004-06-09T20:08:42Z

I haven't been able to stop grinning since the latest malady has struck this bunch of jackasses. What amazes me is that the idiots on right wing radio and fox still find a way to report this and put a favorable spin on it. I also like the fact that the White house occupant is trying to pin this outrage on Rummy.

It gets curiouser and curioser

posted in Schadenfreude - 2 replies

Caught on tape: Enron energy traders

2004-06-02T01:08:33Z

Good stuff. Here's an excerpt from the transcript of a conference call:

EMPLOYEE 1:

He just fucks California. He steals money from California to the tune of about a million.

EMPLOYEE 2:

Will you rephrase that?

EMPLOYEE 1:

OK, he, um, he arbitrages the California market to the tune of a million bucks or two a day.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/06/01/eveningnews/main620626.shtml

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Gas prices

2004-04-01T19:18:37Z

I laugh my ass off every time I see a behemoth SUV at a bay area gas station right now, and watch the driver spend something north of $60 for a tank of gas. Serves them right for being such guzzling pigs.

posted in Schadenfreude - 4 replies

Tribe Schadenfreude

2004-03-11T18:19:37Z

http://www.tribe.net/tribe/servlet/template/pub%2Cpcard%2CPeopleCard.vm?personid=5c2a4cda-bf32-4608-a09d-c2416212e548&_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Person%5B5c2a4cda-bf32-4608-a09d-c2416212e548%5D

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

Reagan

2004-03-09T03:09:01Z

I know, I know, Alzheimer's is terrible, really, an evil way to die, but schadenfreude's the order of the day, isn't it? I can't even imagine the state the man must be in by now; what's it been, 10 years since the public diagnosis? How old is he? Kind of makes you believe in what goes around comes around.

posted in Schadenfreude - 6 replies

pointer to some schadenfreude

2004-03-08T21:32:31Z

http://imgsrv.fun4fun.com/public_html/Binnes/26022004/videos/toutounne.mpeg

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Ashcroft Hospitalized With Pancreatitis

2004-03-08T08:15:42Z

WASHINGTON - Attorney General John Ashcroft has been hospitalized in an intensive care unit for a severe case of gallstone pancreatitis, a painful condition that usually clears up within a week with treatment.

posted in Schadenfreude - 3 replies

Martha Stewart convicted.

2004-03-08T06:25:30Z

"AP -- Martha Stewart was convicted Friday of obstructing justice and lying to the government about a superbly timed stock sale, a devastating verdict that probably means prison for the woman who epitomizes meticulous homemaking and gracious living."

Perhaps she can add some nice gingham accents to those drab orange jumpsuits.

posted in Schadenfreude - 3 replies

opposite of schadenfreude?

2004-02-26T17:50:07Z

Schadenfreude is when you, essentially, gloat over someone else's misfortune; regardless of whether you feel bad about having that feeling.

So what's it called when *you* get screwed over and know someone else is quietly chuckling in the wings?

posted in Schadenfreude - 2 replies

Happy Friday the 13th

2004-02-13T18:44:06Z

May your day be filled with the suffering of those around you!

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

missionary pilot

2004-02-11T03:00:24Z

In a statement, the airline said his comments amounted to a "personal level of sharing that may not be appropriate for one of our employees to do while on the job."

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1505&ncid=1505&e=5&u=/afp/20040209/ts_alt_afp/us_aviation_pilot_040209185039

posted in Schadenfreude - 4 replies

She fall down and go boom

2004-02-10T18:39:46Z

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/040209/ids_photos_en/r3991863008.jpg&e=4&ncid=1756

Maybe if she'd eaten something within the preceding 72 hours...

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Atkins

2004-02-10T18:33:20Z

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/a/2004/02/10/national0907EST0528.DTL

Dr. Robert Atkins, whose popular diet stresses protein-rich meat and cheese over carbohydrates, weighed 258 pounds at his death and had a history of heart disease, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

Atkins died last April at age 72 after being injured in a fall on an icy street.

Before his death, he had suffered a heart attack, congestive heart failure and hypertension, The Wall Street Journal reported, citing a report by the city medical examiner.

[...]

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Janet Jackson watch

2004-02-10T01:03:59Z

So I really want to have something to say about Janet Jackson after the superbowl incident, but I havent been able to find anything bad that has happened to her since. There are rumors that her CD sales will not take off - if they dont that will be pretty funny.

So, anyway, heres to a Schadenfreude waiting to happen, I hope...

posted in Schadenfreude - 4 replies

HSN happy accidents

2004-02-07T19:32:09Z

This is excellent -- some sales dude on HSN mis-handling a katana...

http://www2.netdoor.com/~jig/Knives.mpeg

posted in Schadenfreude - 3 replies

is this the funniest/most embarrassingly whacked personal ad ever?

2004-02-06T01:19:51Z

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/23025686.html

posted in Schadenfreude - 4 replies

Ahh... Sweet.

2004-01-25T00:10:54Z

Don't you love it when someone who personally made your life Less Than Pleasant has something crappy happen to them?

My day just got better. :D

posted in Schadenfreude - 3 replies

Ted Nugent Injured in Chain Saw Accident

2004-01-22T06:04:24Z

Schadenfreude at its finest: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040113/ap_on_en_tv/people_nugent

posted in Schadenfreude - 5 replies

Schadenfreude confessions

2004-01-15T19:45:01Z

I'd like to take a moment to diverge from the celebrity schadenfreude. Not because I feel for them, but to explore the depths of every-day schadenfreude.

I've grown up in California all my life so I've been surrounded by all kinds of sun worshipers. To this day, when the sky's are gloomy and grey, I take utter pleasure in hearing the near life-ending tragedy of some poor sun worshipper who is all bummed out and depressed because the day isn't sunny enough for them. As the song goes, "I'm only happy when it rains."

Oh here's another one: Traveling through New Mexico on I40 East, my friend (a native New Mexican) and I were passed by an SUV and U-Haul trailer with California plates. I laughed out loud at the obvious dot-com refugee and my friend commented, "Keep driving, we don't want you in our state either."

So what is your every day schadenfreude? What misery of others pleases you to no end. No shameful joy too small! Confess, it will make you feel better.

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

275-Pound Prostitute Strips Attacker

2003-12-20T06:54:35Z

Fri Dec 19, 4:31 PM ET Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. - A 140-pound rapist met his match in an angry, 275-pound prostitute, police said.

Adrian Castillo Ramirez allegedly tried to sexually assault a 24-year-old Bakersfield prostitute who was nearly twice his weight.

But she took his knife, stripped him naked and paraded him in front of other prostitutes, after asking how many of them had ever been forced into sex at knifepoint. Then she tried to take him — still naked — to the police station, reports said.

Castillo was charged with failing to register as a sex offender, and with committing forcible sex acts on the 24-year-old and on a 37-year-old woman in a previous incident. He was convicted of four counts of rape in 1988.

Castillo pleaded innocent Wednesday, and is being held on $250,000 bail, police said.

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

Rush, our poster boy.

2003-12-16T21:16:27Z

Rush Limbaugh Drug-Money Laundering Probe Deepens:

http://www.conspiracyplanet.com/channel.cfm?channelid=99&contentid=1016

The words "Rush Limbaugh," "Drug," and "Money-Laundering," all in the same headline? I really have to start listening to this guy's radio show.

I have to hear how he's spinning this incredible, public meltdown of the image he's cultivated. He must be a brilliant performer.

A sad, sad junkie, perhaps. But still smooth on the air.

Maybe the talent's on loan from God, but those Vicodin will cost you some long green, podnah.

posted in Schadenfreude - 11 replies

Helmut Kohl

2003-12-16T20:05:59Z

Reagan's bitte-ein-Bitburg buddy Kohl, meanwhile, has lately not assumed the expected role of elder statesman; instead he's an embarrassment to his party - he was asked NOT to speak at the last CDU convention and the party leadership has avoided all photo opps with the man since the slush-fund scandal a few years ago and his ignominious defeat to Gerd Schroeder.

He also recently lost a long legal batle to keep his Stasi (East German secret police) file under wraps. Hee hee.

Jeez, this is really distasteful, but then of course there was his wife, who had some really fucked-up no doubt psychosomatic affliction (BBC: "...she had suffered for several years from a serious skin disease that made her sensitive to daylight and forced her to remain indoors most of the time...", i.e., she was ALLERGIC TO LIGHT) and who killed herself in their darkened home just on the day Kohl left for Berlin to face another round of an official Bundestag inquiry into criminal charges against him (OK, these were later dropped, but probably only for reasons of deep collective shame) for illegally channelling millions of D-marks in campaign contributions and refusing to divulge the names of the donors - and he keeps his silence to this day. We're talking actual money in suitcases changing hands through a weapons dealer in Switzerland who later absconded to Canada to flee The Law.

It makes me giggle that the "Father of Reunification" chose not to attend the ceremony marking the 10th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall, as he was not invited to speak.

It's hard to believe it, but he appears to keep getting fatter as well.

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

2004 Election Tribe

2003-12-12T18:26:56Z

OK, i still sometimes take a look in there and i really can't stomach it on a daily basis anymore. Some of those people really deserve to be pummeled and i dont give a single "Shit Howdy" about their worthless opinions.

i think they should have thier right to an opinion taken away immediatly.

i really needed to get that out.

posted in Schadenfreude - 2 replies

Bobby and Whitney

2003-12-12T17:18:28Z

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/showbiz/articles/8132879?source=Evening%20Standard

I think he would be perfectly comfortable in prison. He'd be lionized by the other inmates, he'd have access to all the drugs he wanted, and no one would complain when he wanted to smack them around.

As for Ms. Houston, will someone hand her a sandwich and give her a copy of "Men Who Hate Women, and the Crack-Smoking Women Who Love Them?"

posted in Schadenfreude - 3 replies

Paris Hilton

2003-12-11T00:14:59Z

Has anyone watched the Simple Life? It's the "reality" show where Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie go live on an Arkansas farm for a month. Plenty of opportunities for schadenfreude...

posted in Schadenfreude - 3 replies

Spotted in a friend's livejournal recently

2003-12-10T19:29:07Z

There is this assumption that there's no word in English to match the German term schadenfruede, "malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of others." This popular notion has been repeated often in the popular press and even shows up in Dictionary.com's "usage" segment.

I'm happy to report that such a popular notion is wrong. Schadenfreude is a late-comer to our shores. The correct English term is epicaricacy, and it means exactly the same thing.

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

Jesse Jackson

2003-12-06T18:12:12Z

We all know about this one, right?

http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/08/17/jackson.daughter/

In 2001, Karin Stanford, a former aide to Rev. Jesse Jackson, revealed that she had a 2-year-old daughter, the product of an affair with the political/spiritual leader.

This one really bugged me. Jesse's charismatic, but does he think he's so charming that he can talk a woman out of conceiving? I mean, invest a few bucks in a box of Trojans, jerk!

What a maroon. It seemed like he just went underground for a bit, and then accepted his responsibility. Which is more than I can say for most of the Bush family.

posted in Schadenfreude - 4 replies

Linda Tripp

2003-12-05T21:02:56Z

I'd never wish cancer on anyone, let me make that clear right off the bat.

But the fact that this woman's name is now synonymous with ugliness and betrayal pleases me greatly.

Monica didn't do anything to be ashamed of, as far as I can tell. Okay, she's not so bright, but that's not a crime.

If nothing else, I'll carry the memory of John Goodman's Linda Tripp impression to my grave.

posted in Schadenfreude - 4 replies

Heimlich

2003-12-02T02:14:37Z

Does anyone else laugh when someone has to perform the heimlich maneuver in movies? I swear that kills me everytime. I've never seen it in person so I don't know if I'd laugh or not, but on movies...I burst into hysterics. heeeee...

posted in Schadenfreude - 1 reply

Bill Bennett

2003-12-02T00:26:01Z

This is a good one.

You recall this jagoff, right? He was the nicotine-addicted Drug Czar in the 1980s, a Secretary of Education, and one of those gaping assholes who would tell the rest of us how to live moral lives.

He and Joe Lieberman used to do a dog-and-pony show where they'd trot out bad TV shows each year and blame them for corrupting our society.

And then it came out that Mr. Book of Virtues was a high-stakes gambler who dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars in Atlantic City and Vegas, getting regularly comped on rooms and travel.

Delightful!

posted in Schadenfreude - 0 replies

George Bush

2003-12-01T23:52:51Z

When his daughters were arrested for underage drinking...did I laugh? I laughed my ass off :)

And of course his niece was arrested for trying to get hold of prescription drugs as well.

posted in Schadenfreude - 7 replies

A little mean, maybe

2003-12-01T18:26:58Z

Okay, so this isn't the nicest Tribe in the world, but c'mon -- there are people out there who don't deserve our sympathy.

If you found out that Dick Cheney had painful hemorrhoids, it'd at least provoke a Mona Lisa smile, right?

posted in Schadenfreude - 5 replies